"If you don't tell me why, I get stuck."

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The other day, my 6 year old son Aidan was trying to sell things out of my garage.  A budding entrepreneur, he wanted to make some money to buy some Legos and figured we didn't need most of the stuff in the garage. By the time I became aware of this, he had set up a table at the end of my driveway that contained toys, tools, games and other items he didn't think we needed anymore. When I told him to put everything away, the exchange went a little like this...

"Why?"

"Because you can't just sell things out of our garage, Aidan."

"Why not?

"Because we need those things."

"We never use these things, Mom."

"Well, we might need them someday."

"Please, mom? I need money for Legos."

"You can earn the money some other way. Put the stuff away now, Aidan."

"Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Mom, if you don't tell my why, I get stuck!"

Those words have been stirring within my spirit for the past week, because they are so true. When I can't figure out what God's doing, His timing, His purpose, especially when it involves suffering, sickness, pain, or death, I get "stuck".  I have had many conversations with God that went much like the one that took place between me and my son. Like my son and most people I know, I'm not very good at accepting a "Because I said so" from God or anyone else.

So what do we do when we can't understand the "why" of a given situation or circumstance?  Most of us try to figure it out in our heads. We intellectualize it. We may study, read, consult an expert or a friend, pray, or we dig our heels in and try harder. If it can't figure it out, change it or fix it, we may find ourselves feeling powerless, guilty, shameful, confused, tired, or weak. We give way to circular thinking and we get stuck in a negative loop. Our faith and trust may start to fade, only to be replaced by doubt, anxiety, and fear.

Isaiah 55:8-9 states, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

The key to getting "unstuck" in not knowing the "why" is inherent in this verse. Ironically, when we try to figure God out or understand what he's doing and why, we move away from truly understanding Him. God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours. We cannot begin to fathom what He is up to. To think that we can is both foolish and prideful. We are human and He is God. Our brain is the size of a grain of sand in comparison. It's like expecting a bug to understand human emotion and reasoning. It is impossible. 

So then, it boils down to faith and trust, which reside in the heart, not the head. As humans, we battle between our mind and heart, between flesh and spirit. Believing that which we cannot see seems foolish, and unwise to man. But, that is the very definition of faith. As believers, we are asked to take a leap of faith, rely on God's wisdom, and trust that He has a plan for our lives and His plan is a good one. This is not easy, especially when things don't make sense to us.

In a book called The Cloud of Unknowing, a book on contemplation written by an anonymous Christian mystic in the middle ages, the author teaches us to seek God not with knowledge but through "naked intent" and "blind love". He states that what we think we know of God interferes with or clouds our ability to truly know Him. We come to authentically know God by putting all thoughts except the love of God, under a "cloud of forgetting", for true union with God exists not in intellect but in the heart.

In 1 Corinthians 1:19; 25 states, "For it is written: 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.'...For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

Accepting God's saying "Because I said so." when things don't make sense is humbling and sometimes is a bitter pill to swallow. But in light of what the word (not the world) tells us, we should find it comforting to know that God is sovereign and He is in control. He loves us, is above all things, and is faithful to those who love him. Deuteronomy 7:9 says, "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Now that's a "because I said so" that I can accept.

Comments

[Diane Markins]

As a kindred spirit to Aiden, I too struggle with getting stuck. Thanks for this wonderful post!

[me]

Wow. I need this message and will keep this close. I have been trying to figure out 'why' and have been so stuck and un-accepting of 'because I said so' from God for a couple of years. ... and this last week was especially painful. thank you.